Friday, July 26, 2019

Home Alone - Day 3 - Get it together!

[Note to the reader, this blog entry is kinda long so get comfy...]

The first shoe pairing - 2.75" wedges too much for late night Target?
I hit the ground running the morning of day three, I showered and shaved first thing to be ready for anything today!  I dressed right away, you know, in cute clothes!  I took some photos and posted them to Flickr right away.  I did a some work; changed my skirt; photos; Flickr.

My plan for the day was formulated: run errands at lunch, supper, family chat and then hit the road baby!  I like this plan.


Well, the lunchtime errand plans were derailed with issues at work.  Hey, no worries, I'll run errands after my late afternoon call and before supper and family call.  BOOM more work derailments hit at 4:45pm.  Ok errands will wait for another day.

How's about these sneakers?  But I want to wear hose too!
The family call kept getting pushed back later too.  Drat!  It was almost nine before I was first going to get ready.  I hadn't done makeup in months and I had not thought through it yet for tonight.  rats.  Do not get derailed now!  Deep breath, I can do this.  I wash my face and take a close look in the mirror.  Shoot look at that stubble!?!?!  I shaved this am, WTH,  I never have stubble, right?!?!  I guess I never look THIS closely in the mirror...

Shannyn gives me great advice, "Scrape it again!"  Doh, I shave with a blade and have this 15 minute routine.  I'm not doing all that right now...  After a minute or two I decide to be flexible and "just scrape it!"  Fine.  Three minutes and done.  I was back on track.

My makeup is done at 9:49.  I get dressed, grab accessories, change watch band and phone cover to my girly ones; yes seriously!  And I'm out the door at 10:05.  Shoot, this is so late....  Well maybe it'll just be a drive tonight after all.

I arrive at Target and drive past the door as I hope there is not a cop patrolling the entrance.  Why would there be a cop there?  I dunno, so no crossdressers would feel comfortable shopping there at night.  OK, no cop.  Park the car.

The original plan was to buy a few things like pantyhose, orange juice and a birthday card - you know the essential pickup items that I needed before the morning.  But now that I'm here so late and I'm not sure how I'm feeling about this, I'm just going to grab a bottle of water and self check and leave.  No shame in that - this girl is thirsty.  I'd have shopped in public.  Big win!  To the store!

As I approach the door, I see that inside there is 12-14 year old boy bouncing a ball around probably wasting time waiting for his folks.  Oh crud - I don't want to have to walk past him.  And a family of five just walked out the exit door.  Well sh*t.  Keep walking.  Do it.  Walk into the store.  Just as I'm angling to find the first cooler to grab a water I don't turn at all.  I keep walking straight down the isle between all the womens clothes.  In that instant I decided that only one minute of store time was not going to be enough for me today.  To the...umm...just keep walking.  Posture.  Smile.  Not too fast.  Do I look like a guy?  Hey, this isn't so bad.


I walk halfway to the back of the store and turn down another main isle.  And way off there on the horizon at the long end of the store is the grocery section.  That settles it, I'm getting my damn orange juice.  Ok then, bee-line for grocery town.  I pass maybe a half dozen people on the way.  One employee says excuse me as she came barreling out of an isle.  I just smiled but she whizzed past so fast she missed it.

I reach the grocery section.  Oh there are the coolers.  Hot damn, time for a selfie.  Yes, I'm in Target, time to document it.  Oh by the way, at 10:30pm this place is rather deserted.  I find my OJ and start to head to the checkout.  How would a woman hold a bottle of OJ?  Do I look like a guy holding his OJ?  Just go with it...  To the checkout!
Parking lot shot a few minutes later.

And then I lose myself into just shopping.  Oh there is yogurt on this end cap.  Oooh, yeah I want some.  Do they have cherry?  No?  Too bad.  Oh let's check out these cold coffee in a bottle offerings.  Oh you know, the only canned and cold coffee beverage that I have ever liked is the Starbucks Doubleshot.  Every one of the dozens of others I try I've hated.  But that bottle looks cool.  I spin it around to read the calorie count.  150?  pass.  To the checkout!

But I'm going to walk right past the makeup isles.  ooh, maybe I could find the lip conditioner that I was going to pick up at Ulta.  I don't seem to find anything of the sort.  Oooh what's this eye brow enhancing brush mascara looking thing?  What's my color for that?  Nah, don't waste my money - ask about that at Ulta.  To the checkout!

Alright I'm getting close now.  But oh sh*t, two teenage girls just rounded the corner and are heading directly toward me giggling and guffawing away.  Duck into this isle and snag a bottle of water and buy some time to let them pass.  $1.99 for a bottle of water?  It's for a good cause, keep up the show.  They have not passed yet.  Oh what's this makeup item they have in the random checkout isle of crap.  Boom they have passed.  To the checkout!

As I approach, there is a single 30's woman in shorts checking out at the first one.  There are two employees doing work on terminal #3.  I duck into #2 next to the woman.  Be cool - home stretch, I got this.  When I go to get my card out of the wallet in the purse I feel like a damn klutz.  This is the first time I've used the purse and the wallet.  Meh, I'm sure it is fine.  All set.  To the car!

I was rushing to not look out of place taking a selfie.
I tried to take a selfie with the target sign behind, it didn't turn out and I didn't want to linger taking selfies in the Target parking lot at 11pm.  I'll drive somewhere else for that (and I did).

You know what, I was never really very nervous.  I've talked with lots of CD's over the years and read lots of blogs of people going out.  This was no earth shattering thing tonight; but it was!  I've said for years that I felt like I was at the top of the roller coaster and I just needed a push over the edge and I'll be on my way.  I feel like the ride is only beginning.



PS - big kudos to Shannyn for all the chatting, fashion & outfit discussion, shoe pondering, hose/no-hose debate, and the "just scrape it" from today. Good friends are hard to find out there, people!  Not to mention finding a cd/tg whose sensibilities lines up with your own.

8 comments:

  1. "This was no earth shattering thing tonight"....I ought to come kick your butt for saying that, even if you self-corrected in the same sentence. So, I shall just do this...calling BULLSH*T!!!

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    Replies
    1. Note to self - blogging at 2:00AM requires a full review in the morning!

      Thank you Shannyn for your support and no-spin zone response.

      I didn't have a huge high from this outing. I really came home feeling content in having accomplished another step forward and was wondering what is next and wanting the next step like yesterday! Thank goodness it was a positive experience, but then again I did not interact with anyone. That is the next plateau. It's just my personality to keep looking forward without dwelling on the past.

      I'm now feeling like going to a movie should be easily within reach. Dinner at a restaurant feels a bit too daunting and too much "captive and on display time" at this point. But ask me again tomorrow...

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  2. Cannot wait to hear what more experiences you have! You are doing great!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Steve. I have no plans in the work just yet. I do feel liberated to take another step into ordinary life events outside of my four walls.

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  3. Getting out is a good thing, IMHO. Enjoy!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks! I can feel a shift happening with me becoming more of my authentic self. Going out into public was not a thrill ride, it was getting over the fear of being me out there.

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  4. Great Blog Hunni loved it its so nice to go out after all the trepidation Yet so very satisfying afterwards
    Cheers Joylene

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Joylene! As I look back to this time out, there are things I want to improve on for next time. I am so happy that I made the effort, got out the car and pushed through the door. This will pay big dividends for future adventures. I hope that you are enjoying your adventures too!!

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